Till I Lose You

Guys this is going to be my first long story. It would be in chapterwise format. I have written the first chapter and would soon write the next chapters.

Till I Lose You

The To Be Eleventh Letter

The sun was shining a bit brighter today. The grass was a bit greener. I was more excited and anxious today than I usually am and I think it was my excitement that has transcended to the nature. The love in my heart has finally found a way out into the nature, scaled itself multiple times and have came back to me, only and only me.

Today I would receive her reply. No matter what it would be, I don’t know whether she would have said yes or no, but I really hope she would have said yes, I really really hope so.

I think this is what happens with people when they are in love, their first love,my first love.The thoughts I had, have, they are all incoherent, none of this makes any sense, yet it is the most sensible thing in the whole world.

With all these thoughts in my mind, I reached the college. I was little early to the class. I have to take that seat under which her reply would be waiting for me.Reply of my love, my dream and I guess if I would be lucky enough I might get her number too, you know just in case.

I jolted to my seat, not exactly paying any heed to what I was bumping into. I think I almost knocked down a guy over, bumped my hands into the books of our class's bookworm causing them to execute the most perfect projectile motion I have seen in my entire life and thus earning a lot of curses from him.

But I didn't need any of these today, no fights, no arguments nothing. I just want to go there and read her reply. I can't wait any longer.

I sat down on the seat, the seat which was my home from past 10 weeks, my escape from this boring class for which we have to travel 15 minutes from our department. I just can't tell how much of a burden it was on us, travelling 15 minutes one side to reach this room to attend this boring class and then again travel 15 minutes to our next class in our department.

When we were first alloted this room, we were all furious and quite literally complaint every day to admin to change our room and shift it to our department only. But as you would have already guessed not a single tick pricked their ears.

Well that was quite good for me I guess. If they would have changed the room, I would never be able to get in touch with her. My love story ( maybe my one sided love story, but I really don't want to think about this negativity honestly) would have ended before it could even start. This is my first love and first love is always special, damn special. It doesn't really matter if the odds are in your favor or not, if we end up with them or not they will always have that special place in our heart and we care them with us every moment intentionally or unintentionally. They change us in ways we don't expect, we show us side which we never thought we had. But I really appreciate want the odd in favor of me, in favor of us. I want to end up with her.

The reply of my love would be lying under the seat, the seat which currently I am seated on.

My heart was pounding uncontrollably. I extended my hand under the desk, my head the was already making up scenarios. What would have she answered. Would she have said yes. She have to say yes. She must have said yes, I know, she must have said yes.

My heart skipped a beat and I panicked. I extended my other hand too and began to look furiously. A lump had formed on n my throat and tears have already surfaced in my eyes.

She hadn't replied, there was no reply. There was no letter. That was the first time in last 10 weeks that I haven't received the letter. This was the first and my heart wasn't able to take this.

This can't be true. I am sure she loves me more than I do her. She wrote in her last letter, " I want to spend the rest of my life, till she loses me or I do her." She wanted to spend an eternity with me. Have I lost her or have she lost me but how  can this be possible, I just confessed my feelings in the last letter. Was it too much for her. It really must have been, otherwise  why wouldn't she had replied. It was too much for my little heart to take. I wasn’t able to process anything clearly. If she didn’t loved me what her last letter meant then and if she did why hasn’t she replied.